Andre Leon Talley arrived at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala on Monday night rolled up in a cape made of fruit by the foot. He probably brought that shit from Cosco. I ate a roll that big over the course of a weekend once when I was in 4th grade. I bet momofukas were walking up to him all night long lick lick licking him at random like he was Willy Wonka’s candy flavored wallpaper.

You know Ann Wintour turned to Karl Lagerfeld and said “The sad part about it is that bitch is dead serious” when Dre excused himself to the ladies room.