I wouldn’t motorboat Mimi with Da Brat’s dick and that’s saying a lot. I can’t put my finger on it but something in the milk ain’t clean about this cover.

Truth be told I’m more interested in all of the other stories in the magazine than reading about Mooriah’s nut bucket ass. Japanese denim! Man bites dog! Boat shoes!

International superstar Mariah Carey will grace the cover of VIBE Magazine’s June 2008 issue, which hits newsstands on Tuesday, May 6th. The sultry songstress heats up the pages of the magazine’s summer issue as she models some of the season’s hottest swimwear revealing her recent weight loss.

 

This month’s cover story was shot on-location on Eagle’s Landing, a private Caribbean island off the coast of Antigua where VIBE joined Carey for her lavish 38th birthday celebration. In the magazine, Associate Editor Shanel Odum scribes a daylong journal narrating her encounter with the Grammy Award-winning singer. Odum provides an hour-by-hour account of the day’s events:

2PM: Mariah Carey’s $12,500-a night villa on the 300-acre tropical island is alive and almost antsy…A gang of hairstylists, fashion assistants, photographers, and makeup artists race around the open-air bungalow, each on their own mission to please.

5PM: The 5-foot-9 mirage prances past the overly attentive pack and heads towards a rickety boardwalk, which instantly transforms into her runway. A magenta silk robe whips against those endless, copper legs; black Christian Louboutin heels stab the sand; a wild halo of corkscrew curls flies.

7:30PM: Mariah Carey’s 38th birthday banquet is a Sweet 16 dream…Beckoning palms welcome guests to the entrance of the veranda…The scene inside is a strawberry-frosted pubescent fantasy: purple, pink, and white balloons dance in the balmy Caribbean breeze…And then Mariah’s posse begins to appear. Longtime confidante Shawntae “Da Brat” Harris breezes past…Recent acquaintance/music video director (“Bye Bye”) Nick Cannon grabs his laptop and goes to the buffet to fix a plate…Fuchsia feather boas drip from arms of every chair…Kitschy gold crowns, tiaras, and noisemakers adorn each place setting…As her guests fawn, Mariah drifts from friend to friend, beaming and blowing kisses.