A List of Things I Can’t Do Today

clef1 A List of Things I Cant Do Today

#1 Watch Wyclef Jean perform cunnilingus on his guitar.

#2 Sit back and allow Papa Joe get his swerve on in Las Vegas while Mama Katie soaks her girdle in the sink back at home.

#3 Pay this child any attention. Was she sucking on Robert’s golden peen and got splashed in the face with his man chowder before she took that picture?

#4 Call to RSVP Nelson Mandela’s birthday party.

#5 Add MOP’s porn to my Netflix que.