Don’t Watch Me, Watch TV

After watching the reunion show on ANTM in disgust (more on that later), I had the immense (sarcasm) pleasure of viewing “BET’S Christmas Memories” special last night. Young (and horny) R&B newcomer Trey Songz took over the hosting duties of the hour long festivities which featured leftover R&B stars like Bobby Valentino, Marques Houston, Jaheim and Lyfe Jennings (whom music I actually dig). Real talk though, what’s up with that nigga’s facial hair? That shit looks scary as hell. Now if his mustache looks like that imagine how the rest of his body hair looks . . .

Anyway, I’ve always though that the concept of grown and sexy Christmas music was rather corny. I don’t know about you but nothing about “Frosty the Snowman” gets me in the mood.

So who do you call to come save the day when Beyonce’s calendar is full? Ashanti! After presenting Trey with a gift bag that included her new fragrance Warm Piss, urgh, Precious Jewel, and a Delicious Curves CD, Shani went on to perform cheesy Christmas ballads. To say that Ashanti’s performance was mediocre at best would be a compliment and I’m not in the business of spreading lies (wait, actually I am huh?). So I’m going to be truthful with you; I’ve heard cats in alleys who could harmonize better than that child. Damn, take the studi enhancement away from that girl and she sounds like me singing in the shower. But hey, I didn’t expect her to sound any better than what she did so whatever.

America’s Next Top Model’s reunion show was everything that I expected it to be: boring, lame, and uninformative. Now if I was someone who was without internet access I might feel differently but since I’m not I would have to say that the interviews with the girls didn’t tell me anything that I already didn’t know. I could call them out on so many things but I’ll just fall back and let Rich handle his bidness. Speaking of ANTM, looks who’s doing her thing.

My “up Nawf” people why ya’ll didn’t tell me the Ludameister aired Oprah out on Hot 97? Yup, from what I hear Chris Lova Lova (who remembers them days?) told Angie Martinez that when he appeared on her show along with the rest of the cast from the film Crash Oprah gave him a lot of shit. He said that Oprah suggested that Luda as an emcee was like a KKK member. Wow. Anyway, Luda let it be known that he did clap back at Oprah about her comments only to have them edited out of the show. Ay yi yi. I remember watching that particular episode too and I could see the frustration on his face.