Archive for November, 2005

Family Business

Dear Family,

Please take time out from cleaning chitlins and smoking weed to read the following. Thanks.

- Wait until you get in your own house to take a dump.

- Cousin Angela stop being siddity for once in your life. Every year you turn your nose up at the food (the same shit you was raised on mind you) and talk about how “country” we are. Hoe sit down.

- BE ON TIME BLACK PEOPLE! Last year we were supposed to eat at 3 p.m. and didn’t actually get started until the infomercial for “Classic Soul Ballads” came on.

- Your kid breaks you buy.

- If you know your are one of those people who struggle to boil water please do not try to use this time to get your Rachael Ray on. Just bring some Chek soda and we’ll call it even.

- If I hear the phrase “Hey (insert my family’s nickname for me), you think you can watch the kids while I run up the street? I’ll be right back” this holiday season I am going to lose it. You know how many times one of my cousin’s trips “up the street” has turned into a six hour long escapade? Take your kid with you!


- Family gatherings do not equal amateur night at Showtime at the Apollo.

- This goes out to all of my”big” cousins: Get your own shit. Do not ask me to bring you back a couple of napkins, a peach soda, silverware, or a toothpick. This is why you have all of those damn kids for.

- Uncle Rawkus no one cares about your political views. Please refrain from using this family gatherings as an opportunity to tell us about the white man oppressing black America; we don’t give a shit.

- I said it once, I’ll say it 1,000 damn times: Stop it with the fucking Tyler Perry movies already! This is not the Madea film festival! “Meet The Browns” is not funny after you’ve watched it for the 2,000th time.

Other Great Holiday Tips

“Do not be ghetto and take a plate home if someone invited you over for dinner. It’s like a buffet, eat all you can while you there and leave with a full belly. Just assume the answer is no. - Dream

“There is only so many things you can do with left over Turkey, do not try to re-freeze it and save it for Christmas! ” - Es

“Don’t try to save wrapping paper for next year. My grandmother does this - - she saves bows and wrapping paper off of other people’s gifts. This is the only tacky thing I can think of that my grandmother does.” - Style + Grace
“Making sure not to get too drunk and reveal all of the family secrets to the family.”- Miss Keish

“Being Bobby Brown” caps via my ‘Roni Rich @ four four

Unfresh

unfresh

This picture is unfresh on some many levels its ridiculous. I’ll let you do the dirty work.

Edit - Shouts out to Suburban Diva, it really is a hard knock life for Whitney.

Hustler’s Ambition

hustler_1

You wanna be hustlers can learn a thing or two from 20 year old entrepreneur/community advocate Shola Adisa Farrar. This Oaktown native has been making moves long before she signed on as a one of the sixteen contestants of BET’S most recent attempt at reality television. While the Fordham University senior may not have been crowned the Ultimate Hustler by Dame Dash’s standards you haven’t heard the last from this future mogul yet. She’s got that ambition baby!

Fresh: So how has life been like for you since the show wrapped?

Shola: Life has been great! I’m in school at Fordham University and I will graduate in May.

Great, what is your major in?

I’m majoring in Music and minoring in Communications.

Big things, big things!

Yup! Yup! Yeah in addition to school. I have also been working with the Oakland Youth Uprising Center to get things popping off for Oakland, where I’m from. Also I have found an active acting agent so I’ve been going on a lot of acting auditions and casting calls. And there are many other things in the works, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me soon.

Do you think that the show did an accurate job of representing you as a person?

The last few episodes I think I was able to stand out as a personality on the show. It was a time during the taping that I felt more confident, and decided to really be myself regardless of any negative or questioning feedback the other cast members had about me. And I carry myself with a certain regard and I think it showed that. I’ve gotten e-mails about the class that I showed and how I stood out from the other contestants, so I think the show showed me for the most part how I am and in a positive light. There are some questionable things that happened at the end of my run on the show that tried to damper my image, but I think people saw through that and thought me being cut was a decision that had no grounds.

I totally agree with you. I respected the fact that you stood your ground when Seven was trying to “school” you in the SUV. Girl I don’t know how you did it I would’ve lost it!

Well thank you. Yeah, I think people thought I was a push over because I was kind of quiet in the beginning but that is not he case, I don’t stand for people disrespecting me or trying to tell me about myself.

Word. What did you think about Seven’s little spazz out session she had once Dame decided to give her the boot for her comments?

Well I think Seven was doing too much. She needed to accept the fact that what she did was wrong and let it go.

Exactly. Do you still remain in contact with any of the other contestants from the show?

Yeah I am in contact with most of them. Its funny because although Seven is the most opposite from me, me and her are cool and talk regularly.

Its nice to see that there isn’t any ill will between the two of you.

No not all…its a reality TV show, you cant take what happened on that show to heart, we were in competition mode. But now we are in networking-how can we work together to help each other mode.

Yeah that’s a good thing. We don’t want to see a showdown post show between the two of you like Oprah had between Omarosa and the other contest on “The Apprentice” (laughter).

(laughter) Yeah

So was there anything else going on in the house that the show has neglected to display so far?

No not really, not that I can think of.

So let’s fast forward to the last episode. Many people including myself and Sheryl Underwood think that Jen totally sabotaged the last mission by giving you the wrong bag when you made the delivery to Diddy. What was going through your mind once you realized that had occurred?

Well it never occurred to me that Jen had sabotaged me, honestly I don’t think Jen was smart enough to think that through. She just couldn’t complete the simplest of task of giving me the right bag. I was embarrassed and very upset that she would mess something up like that, that was so simple. She made me look bad in front of Diddy and I was mad at her for that. Plus we would have won that mission if she didn’t mess up.

I was shocked when Dame decided to let Biggs make the decision on who to send home. Did they not review the footage? “You are being watched”…whatever!

You’re funny (laughter).Yeah in this situation I was surprised that he let his man, Biggs, do his job. I was the only person that Dame didn’t decide to cut himself. I think Dame was worried about getting caught up in any controversy or back lash there could have been based on his decision-no matter who he chose. So he escaped that by deciding not to choose. But basically it shouldn’t have happened- there was no reason for me to be cut. And Dame let me down and I think the audience down by relinquishing his power to someone else when it came to making this decision.

I don’t think that was a smart move at all. Its Dame’s show, not his but I could go on and on about Dame. How did you feel about different people saying that you played the race card at the black door elimination?

That blew my mind! I definitely don’t think I pulled a “race card” and I resent that they said I did. A race card refers to someone bringing up race to play victim or use as an excuse, and I definitely didn’t say that comment to say she had it better than me.I was simply stating fact. Just as I would if I was in an all white environment, I would stand out. I think its interesting that we act like race doesn’t exist and that it doesn’t play a role. But in this situation it definitely played a role and I guess people want to be so politically correct that they don’t want to say what it really is or to even question it.

What went through your mind when Dame spoke those ever so corny words “you’re a hustler but … “

Well once he gave the power over to Biggs, I was like whatever at that point. So when he said “Well, Shola..” I said, “Dame”….(laughter) because it was just so obvious to me that this wasn’t a real competition based on people who could actually contribute and survive in the business world. This was very much a TV show and I think that came first before deciding who was really the Ultimate Hustler of the group.

Right. What’s going to be some new projects coming up next for you?

As I said in the beginning there are a lot of exciting things in the works. I don’t really like saying too much before contracts are signed, but there are some hosting things in negotiation right now. I graduate in May. You know hustling to take my singing and acting career to the next level. And keeping it Crunk (laughter). So periodically check out my website www.sholajoy.com to see whats new with me!

Weekend Buzz Notes

Is it possible to have the freshest weekend ever? I think so! I was able to get in touch with a couple of familiar faces to conduct interviews for the site. They should be up sometime this week so be on the lookout for that. I’m so excited I decided to post (Sundays are usually my day “off”, this chile gotta rest too).

CC
While ordinary people like you and I sit home and watch the game, Alicia Keys, Vivica Fox, and Star Jones (ew?) all enjoy a nice courtside view. Lala, Styles P, and Jadakiss also took a break from “throwing refrigerators” at Diddy to come out and support Carmelo Anthony (read: my future husband).

Bonus Material

- I’m not 100 percent sure how recent these pictures are of LisaRaye nor WTF was going on but whatever the case is she looks like she was having a ball (pun intended).

- What does Lil’ Webbie, Redman, Juelz Santana, and Al Reynolds have in common? They all recently partied together. I can totally see the first three names on the list kicking it together but what is Al doing there?

I’m still trying to figure out what these two are talking about.

caption

Ciao until tomorrow!

PSA

Change Clothes

I love Raven Symone, I really do. When I was in the eighth grade I had the pleasure of meeting her in person after she performed in the play “Mama We Ran Outta Grits Again” (or something like that) in Jacksonville, Florida. She was the most down to earth celebrity I have met so far. She was very sweet to me as she autographed my program which I still have to this day.
As the picture of her slowly started to load (my pc has a nasty STD) I thought to myself that her hair and make up looked great. And then the picture finally completed and my facial expression went straight into gas face territory. Why is Raven shopping out of Miss Cleo’s closet?
Racheal Roy scares the shit out of me. Why is she always so damn happy? Seriously, this broad makes me nervous. Poor Dame, its no wonder why he has been losing his mind lately. I would too if I had to be around her ass all the time. Whenever I see the two of them together it makes me sad. Sad like when I lost my $.65 slushie money in the third grade. The only thing I am feeling is her accessories. She probably uses that bag to keep Dame’s meds in.
Finally we have Tichina Arnold. Tichina will always be “Pam” in my mind. She is another case of good black don’t crack and I love that about her. But that doesn’t mean that she can get away with letting her ninnies hang down low (I’ll give three hundred dollars in Dash Cash to whoever can tell me what song was from). Besides the titties everything looks great.

By the way, what is wrong with Cousin Jeff? Now is not the time to be trying to take T.O.’s starting spot honey. Mad niggerish.I guess the hip hop wedding singer is also trying to take B.G.’s crown. Hoe sit down and put on some chapstick. This is Fresh Rivers singing off.

Buzz Notes

First like to say thanks to everyone who took the time out to holla at me and say genuine things about my little speech yesterday. I had like 40 extra emails this morning, it was crazy. When I say that I appreciate ya’ll I don’t be bullshittin’. You guys help keep me sane more than you’ll ever know. I would also like to say a million thank you’s to Rod and Cathy for their expert advise. These are two major players in this blog pop culture movement and have always been such a huge help to me. Rod is in the process of establishing a network for African American bloggers on Blogads.com. Yo, if you sleeping on Rod you need to wake your ass up. He’s trying to help put other black blog sites in the position as our white counterparts who are generating major dollars from their site traffic. And ya’ll stuck on the fact that he’s gay? C’mon homie we major.

Fresh + Rich = Bre. This is our love child, she looks quite beautiful don’t you agree? Anyways, everyone’s favorite crazy ass upcoming model Lisa was booted this past week but not before the girls’ trip to London. . . The Ultimate Hustler had an interesting turn of events this week. I thought for sure Jen would’ve been packing her bags but to my shock Shola was axed. . . Making The Bed 89 was funny for me to watch last night due to all the drama with The Lox and Puff that took place this week. . . Run’s House season may be over but no worries, they’ll be back next season.

Freshly Squeezed

- Typically, celebrities pitch products that play to their strengths. Martha Stewart’s a stylish homemaker, so she makes sheets. Paul Newman’s the kind of progressive, cool husband who wouldn’t mind cooking dinner, so he makes salad dressing. But, alarmingly, if Shar Jackson’s new cosmetic line, RelationLips, is any bellwether of things to come, celebrities have now realized that the things that make them most famous, most recognizable, are things that they really shouldn’t be proud of. The trouble stems from the name of her first gloss, “He Cheated.” Getting knocked up and deserted by Kevin Federline hardly seems like the kind of thing Ms. Jackson would want to celebrate; when George Foreman started selling grills, one imagines that naming the first model “Ali Whupped My Butt” didn’t cross his mind. (via Radar)

- Producer Swizz Beatz, who gained notoriety for tracks he has produced for DMX, Jay-Z and others, was in family court today (accompanied by his wife J Records artist Mashonda) to defend against a lawsuit brought against him for child support, according to a witness. Nicole Levy, who is being represented by Raoul Felder (the same attorney who brought a child support action against Diddy on behalf of his son’s mother Misa Hylton-Brim), filed for child support on Dec. 22, 2004 and now awaits the court’s decision on the fate of her case. According to a spokeswoman in Felder’s office, Swizz had originally denied paternity when the suit was filed. However, paternity was established after a blood test was administered. Levy is suing for the child to have the “same lifestyle that he would if he lived with the father,” says the spokeswoman. At press time, representatives for Swizz were unavailable for comment.

- LeBron James has Nike, Allen Iverson has Reebok, Tracy McGrady is down with Adidas, Dwyane Wade re-upped with Converse and Shaq signs with… Payless ShoeSource? Shaq maybe on the sidelined for the next few weeks but he’ll be sporting his new Dunkman Game Show the entire time. The Big Fella recently signed an exclusive deal with Payless to distribute his shoe at Payless stores starting Dec. 1. Not only is the actual deal with Payless a shocker, but the price tag for the shoes may leave basketball fans in awe. While you can hardly find a pair of NBA superstar shoes for under $100, Shaq’s shoes will run $24.99 for youth and $39.99 for adults.”When I was a kid, I got a lot of my shoes at Payless,” O’Neal said in a statement. “Now having kids of my own, I wanted to create a performance shoe that parents everywhere felt good about providing for their kids or themselves.”Shaq will be wearing the Game Shoe in all his games this season, let’s hope that the shoe wasn’t the reason for his hurt ankle last week. That’s not good publicity.

Nigga Please

- Kanye West will receive the Artist Achievement Award at the 2005 Billboard Music Awards, which will be presented Dec. 6 in Las Vegas. The awards will air live from the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Fox (8 p.m. EST). “Kanye West has not only had a huge impact on R&B/hip-hop, he has transformed modern music as a whole,” Tamara Conniff, co-executive editor of Billboard, said in a statement Thursday.The Billboard Music Awards recognize the year’s leading artists and songs as determined by performance on Billboard’s weekly.

Next thing you know his ass will be at the podium accepting the artist of the millenium award a la Wacko Jacko.

In unrelated news, guess who I saw in an issue of Essence from a few months back? None other than Jimi Izrael! I wish ya’ll could’ve peeped my facial expression when I came across the article. I looked like Beyonce (who graces the cover that Jimi’s interview appears in) at Popeye’s in line trying to decide on two side orders. Yeah I know I’m hella late but I had to tell say something.

Dennis Doesn’t Make My Whistle Blow

Dennis Doesn’t Make My Whistle Blow

(NSFW = Not Safe For Work) Clickity clak for the uncut (no pun intended) version. Trust me folks its nothing to write home about.

PSA

Friends, Romans, Countrymen Lend Me Your Eardrums - -

Crunk and Disorderly is like my first born child. I’ve been here from the beginning watching it grow and develop into the success it has become today. I’ve very proud of my accomplishments thus far with this site. I’ve achieved a level of popularity among the black blog community in a matter of only six short months. I plan on expanding C&D in numerous ways with the coming new year. Sometimes I become so busy with trying to generate more buzz for that I tend to neglect it. I can’t do it all by myself folks. Basically I’m looking for a group of bloggers to contribute to this monster. I need people who have are opinionated, have a passion for the hip hop pop culture, and willing to bring their A-game at all times. I plan on getting in contact with people who I think echo the thoughts and sentiments of myself. Like I previously mentioned this site is my baby and I’m not going to leave with a past sex offender to get molested everyday after school, ya feel me? Just know that you are being watched.

I also think that it is past due for a black gossip/hip hop affiliation to occur between many of us well-known sites. Sure we link to each other but do we actually take time out to applaud each other’s efforts? Let’s be real, a lot of bloggers who are popular have the mentality that it is all about them and their shit. There are tons of Caucasian celebrity gossip sites out there who stick together and webmasters are making some serious cake while they sit home eating their cheese sandwiches writing about the same shit as us. The only difference is they are smart enough to network together. Don’t get it twisted or misconstrued though, Fresh does care about white people. Hell, if it wasn’t for Cathy over at Cityrags referring me I wouldn’t be on Blogads.com.

We provide our readers with the same quality of news, gossip, and music reviews so why then do we act negative and bitter towards each other instead of making that money right quick? However I can expose another blogger or site to my audience I will. Shit ya’ll see me drop links all the time, look around. I’ve never been the type of person who thought it was all about them. Whenever I can put another person on I feel as if I’m playing a small part of their success and thats good enough for me. But in the same breath I’m not going to be shouting out corny shit just to rub someone’s back so they can do the same for me. Nullus.

I hope ya’ll feel me cause this shit has got to stop. I just had to get this off of my dome and Pocarra’s (that’s the new word for big breasteses by the way). Just something to seriously think about.

Why?


Oh well. He still lost the cover/Man of the Year title to a bitch. Ay! (spotted via NahRight)

On further inspection of Fiddy’s new photos I couldn’t help but notice a striking similarity in his eye brow and a former co star’s. Looks like spit wasn’t the only thing these two were sharing.

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