Archive for September, 2005

PSA

Posted by Fresh on September 20, 2005

PSA: Trappin’ Is A Trap

trap

Since your girl Fresh still resides in the hood, I pretty much can look out of my bedroom window and see drug transactions take place at any given time. Please believe my block is hot like Weezy’s. Its been like that every since I wasrocking pigtails and Osh B’ Gosh overalls. I say this not to “impress” you but instead to say this: If you are going to walk around in a shirt that says “I Got That Snow” you’re going to raise the eyebrows of police officers. All the hood negras here in GA love walking around in these damn snowman joints like its December yapping about trap or die. Nigga please.

Stop blaming “the white man” when you’re the one with a billboard on your chest which implies you sell rocks. You’re better off wearing one that says “I got bout an ounce in the glove compartment.”

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Buzz Notes

Posted by Fresh on September 20, 2005

Buzz Notes

One Last Drumstick

A less than glamorous Lil’ Kim wears shades, an oversized T-shirt and jeans, as she arrives at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia. The queen bee has a new hive - and she’s not liking it. Raunchy rapper Lil’ Kim walked into a federal prison yesterday to start a year-and-a-day sentence for lying about a shootout with a rival rap crew.
Kim strode into the Federal Detention Center in downtown Philadelphia without saying a word, but vowed in a statement that she “will come out a stronger, more confident woman.”"I am blessed to have so many great things in my life - family, friends and God,” said Kim, 30, whose real name is Kimberly Jones. “All will be in my thoughts daily.”She groused over not getting assigned to a less-strenuous prison camp. “I am not certain that this constitutes fair and equal treatment,” Kim said.

Still, she promised to make the best of her stint behind bars. “Today begins a new saga in my life which I expect to strengthen me and allow me time for reflection,” she said.The nation’s new most famous federal inmate drove down the New Jersey Turnpike in a convoy of five luxury vehicles from her Englewood home. Trailed by a reality TV crew, she stopped at a rest stop for fried chicken at Roy Rogers before beating a 5 p.m. deadline by 30 minutes.

Only in America will Black people will risk getting into further trouble with the law just for a damn white meat and biscuit combo. Check out the farewell dinner Kim’s friends had for her.

They Lootin’ - - Made You Look

Business owners return to New Orleans “The Wal-Mart store in uptown New Orleans, built within the last year, survived the storm but was destroyed by looters.”They took everything - all the electronics, the food, the bikes,” said John Stonaker, a Wal-Mart security officer. “People left their old clothes on the floor when they took new ones. The only thing left are the country-and-western CDs. You can still get a Shania Twain album.”If the store had not been looted, it could be open in two weeks, Stonaker said. Now he doubts it will be open by January.” (continue)

It’s Cheaper To Keep Her

I’ve been hearing horrific and bombshell allegations regarding R. Kelly’s estrangement from his wife Andrea. If these allegations are true and the Kelly’s divorce, R. Kelly would be better off agreeing to an out of court settlement. He wouldn’t want these allegations to come out in an open arena. Also, we have received word that the tabloids are snooping around. If they decide to do a story, I’m sure the allegations will be included in their account. R. Kelly is worth between $75-$100 million dollars, the Kelly’s have been married for several years and they have three children.

Superhead Got Competition?
So the word is Mos Def got on some drugs and married a stripper. Sources say she was a stripper in Toronto for years along with her mother. Yes her mother was a stripper too. The funniest part is that her name was Ecstacy which is what some people say they were on when they got married. This chick has never worked a day in her life but a bag of rappers and ballplayers send her money and the streets are saying she’s a professional. Toronto got their very own Superhead. Mos is not her first victim. (shout out to Soli for the tip)

UPN = Under Paid Niggas

. . . Did anyone catch the new fall line-up last night? While I the opening credits to One on One played I saw that Ray J. would be on the show, so I didn’t watch. Oh well. The best show on television last night was this week’s episode of spoiled white teens My Super Sweet 16. I’m not going to hype it up because its something you have to see for yourself.

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One More Thing

Posted by Fresh on September 19, 2005

Foxy Brown is smiling inside of Jay’s oval office over at Def Jam rubbing her hands together like Mr. Burns tonight. I’m surprised this isn’t on a black tee yet. Those were the days. Don’t mind me, I’m just reminiscing like Mary J. Comments are off for this post. Just sit back and enjoy the duo who once called themselves hip hop’s Thelma and Louise.

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Bill Maher

Posted by Fresh on September 19, 2005

Is Bill Maher The New Clinton?

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Your eyes do not decieve you, that is Kid from Kid-N-Play fame (damn, thats such an oxymoron now) kicking it will my nigga Bill Maher. I’m not sure if this means Bill has earned a ghetto pass like other great whites who have come before him. Its still pretty funny shit to see him hanging out with the negra folks. Its almost like he shouldn’t even be there . . . like someone photoshopped his ass in. And lets not even begin to talk about Karrine. Who knew that the same girl who sniffed Ja Rule’s socks when she missed him would be standing on the red carpet at the Emmy’s. See girls dreams do come true. Only if you have a high priced white sugar daddy. You still can’t knock her hustle.

And WTF is up with Kid’s facial expression? He looks like a spider monkey. *sighs* On another note, please pray that Earth, Wind, and Fire do not show up to any more events looking a hot mess.
home sweet home

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And Then What

Posted by Fresh on September 18, 2005

One For The Road

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On Monday, Rapper Lil’ Kim will begin serving her year-long prison stint for lying under oath during a case involving gunfire exchanged between her associates and that of rival hip-hopista Foxy Brown. How, we wonder, will Kim spend her last days as a free woman?

- Playing with her coochie, one last time, when she’s up in the tub.

- Rolling around in a pile of the Notorious B.I.G.’s fur coats.

- Attending fittings for her Marc Jacobs prison jumpsuit.

- Enjoying a final breast-jiggle from Diana Ross.

- Looking up the word “perjury” in order to understand what the hell happened.

- Upping her body’s silicon content, so that she might keep herself amused by bouncing off the prison walls.

- Deciding on a single hair color to sport for the next year.

- Shoving as many Vuitton items as possible into her anal cavity.

- Familiarizing herself with The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas.

- Visiting Judith Miller.

(list composed courtsey of Gawker)

I’d rather be dead and rich than broke and livin’ / Without rap, I probably woulda been sellin’ dope in prison / With some Vera Wang khakis and Nolteychucks / Suckin’ the warden’s dick in the back of the bus
- Kim on La Bella Mafia’s “This Is Who I Am”

Well said Kimmy, well said.

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Buzz Notes

Posted by Fresh on September 17, 2005

Hip Hop Buzz Notes

Kanye Must Go Through Tons of Lotion

Kanye West was left red-faced recently when his mother Donda discovered how much money he spends on pornography. The star loves the close working relationship he has developed with his mum since their college days but admits constantly having her at his side can sometimes be embarrassing. He says, “I was an English major and she (mother) was head of the department. Now she is my manager, and that can be tricky sometimes. She’s like: ‘Kanye, did you spend $500 at the porn store?’ Come on, get the fuck out of here! I’m 28 years old and I have to explain to my mother?”

As Sly As A Fox
Whatever aroma Foxy Brown is exuding should be bottled and sold. Last Friday, she had the gang at P.M. abuzz when she canoodled, cavorted and then sped away with supermodel Tyson Beckford. On Tuesday, she was back at the Haitian-themed lounge — this time locking lips with NBA hunk Chris Webber. And who was sitting in the adjacent banquette with Kimora Lee Simmons trying to avert his eyes? None other than Tyson Beckford! Also on hand: Queen Latifah, Busta Rhymes, Wyclef Jean with fellow Haitian Garcelle Beauvais, and A.J. Calloway celebrating his birthday.

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- Game Over? Nope! That my friends is a G-Unot billboard smack dab in the heart of Jamaica Queens. Dayum homie.

- Rub-a-dub-dub, Peedi Crakk is soaking in the tub. Sorry baby but Pac did it better.
- You gotta love the wonders of photoshop. So whats on the mind of Ms. Knowles?

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Buzz Notes Quickie

Posted by Fresh on September 17, 2005

Buzz Quickie

- So this is the life one has to look forward to after being on reality television?

- FEMA cards are now being swiped between ass cheeks

- Remember that infamous Jodeci post from a few days ago? I forgot to add one

- Self explanatory

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Buzz Notes

Posted by Fresh on September 16, 2005

Buzz Notes


Apple Loves Jay-Z (no, not that Apple)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s — who has been widely quoted saying “I’d rather die than let my daughter eat instant soup” — apparently has no problem letting 16-month old Apple listen to Jay-Z, a rap star whose albums are usually labeled “Explicit Lyrics.” Paltrow, while out promoting her new flick “Proof,” was asked if her daughter is a fan of Coldplay, the band headed up by her husband Chris Martin. Apparently, not. But Paltrow revealed that instead, Apple likes Jay-Z, and often listens to the rapper on headphones.

Betcha Apple will be bringing home a negra boy from school in a couple of years. And while we are on the subject of Shawn, isn’t supposed to be retired? Fade To Black part two coming soon.
Being Kimberly Jones

Yup! You guessed it, Kimmy’s getting her very own reality show. I can’t knock her for making moves like a crackhead (I love that quote) before she goes in the clink clank. The show is slated to be produced by the Edmonds who you will remember giving us College Hill. It will chronicle Lil Kim’s court case and the preparation for the album.
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Grammy award winning hip-hop diva Lil’ Kim holds a meet and greet with her fans in New York City. Lil’ Kim was convicted of perjury last July and is scheduled to begin her prison sentence next week. MTV’s camera crews were also on hand as they followed Kim around the clock for her upcoming reality show, “Lil’ Kim Goes to The Big House.” The series will document Kim’s hectic life as the queen of hip-hop and how she manages to juggle the media blitz of promoting her upcoming Album, The Naked Truth out September 27th on Atlantic/Queen Bee Records, in addition to preparing for her upcoming jail sentence.

KIM
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- With the upcoming release of The Glamourous Life, Trina works hard for a good review in The Source. So that’s how she made last month’s cover.

- Brandy is the dumb-dumb of the week. After a short engagement to NBA star Quentin Richardson, she decided to get a tattoo of his face on her back. Yeah, not his name but face. Not her daughter’s face but Quentin’s. And like 90 percent of most industry romances it quickly fizzled. So what’s a girl to do? Get over it - - literally.
- R&B singer Mary J. Blige asks a worker to move so she can pose as she arrives to the Baby Phat Fashion show held at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Priceless! As always you can caption the photo in the comments if you please.

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