Archive for June, 2005

It’s A Beautiful Day

Posted by Fresh on June 21, 2005

whitney

- Don’t forget, Being Bobby Brown premieres on Bravo Thursday, June 30. Break out the tivo’s! I promise it’s going to be better than Blow Out.

- Good always prevails over evil! I was doing the Tom Cruise dance last night when The Good Guys from the Inferno II won the $150.000 jackpot. I don’t know why I got happy. It’s not like they’re breaking bread with my ass. I’m just happy that fake ass J.Ho Veronica and that cat looking bitch Racheal lost. Ha ha, go make some more over priced t shirts.

skeet skeet

- Speaking of the devil, Tom Cruise got a facial the other day.

- Ray Killens old ass is guilty. I would make further comments on the verdict but I have a feeling everyone in the blogsphere will be doing so. I’m just glad that justice was finally served after 41 damn years.

- Cassidy has been denied bail and booked for prison. He will most likely shoot a video for his next single there, become a muslim, and left weights.

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Sound Off !

Posted by Fresh on June 20, 2005

soundoff


- No Dollar Amount Required. Once A Nigga Always A Nigga.

Don’t expect Oprah Winfrey to accessorize with Hermes bags any time soon. Spies in Paris report that, in a stunning display of ignorance ? the Hermes store in (Paris) refused entry to the talk show queen. “Oprah didn’t have her hair done,” says a source. “When she tried the door, they refused her entry because they have been ‘having a problem with North Africans’ lately”

- Fuck TomKat.

I am so over Hollywood relationships right now. Every time I glimpse Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on television I grow nauseous. It seems like their “relationship” is being forced down my throat each and every damn day. And now America’s new favorite celeb couple is engaged only after a whole two months of courtship. Aww, isn’t that a match made in publicity heaven? Lovely, good for you two but Fresh does not give a blue fuck about it. Yes I enjoy gossip and entertainment news like the next chick but damn. The buck needs to stop here already. I thought it couldn’t get any worst than Bennifer but this truly exceeds that mark.

- “I Don’t Give Two Fucks About Natalee Holloway”

This is a post of sheer fuckin’ brilliance! It stated exactly how I felt about the whole situation surrounding Natalee Holloway (missing white woman in Aruba). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that no one else should care about her just because white women go missing every other week but I’m over the whole idea. I’m over the media replaying images of white women from middle America like they’re the only people who disappear. No one dares talk about Marcie Crane, an African American mother of five kids under the age of 14 who has been missing since October 2003. Hmmm, I wonder why? Before picking up the latest issue of Essence I had no idea who this beautiful woman was myself. I guess that’s how it is supposed to be. Guess we’re just supposed to give up and sweep our missing sisters underneath the rug and pray to God that they come home. That’s the American way.

Okay, enough angry black female rants for today. Check out the new buzz on Bow Wow. What do you think about him playing the role of a bi drug dealer? Career suicide or not?

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I Used To Love H.I.M.

Posted by Fresh on June 18, 2005

- I was an avid viewer of All That when it first premiered on Nickelodeon. I remember so vividly how I would drop my jump rope and run full speed inside the house on Saturday evening to catch a glimpse of all the “straight up fo real cuties”. Especially Marques Houston aka Batman of Immature. Oh Lord, I was sooo in love with this little negro it was pathetic. I longed to “feel his funk” so badly. I didn’t care about the fact that he could wear his hair down and I was still rocking a sponge roller bang and plaits. I wanted to glide my fingertips across his baby hair. He was simply “da bomb diggity” to me. Now? Shit, you can’t pay me to look at him for more than five minutes. All of those perms and bleach job did that nigga’s hair line in as you can see.

- I had dreams of hunching a R & B nigga like Tevin Campbell when I seen that face on the cover of Word Up! magazine. I remember the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air when he sung to Ashley on her birthday. I got all warm and tingly inside and gushed lovingly at the television screen. Then my brother broke the news that he was gay and shattered all of my fantasies. Damn damn damn James! He told me that Tevin was stripping in Atlanta. I don’t know how authentic the statement was but from the looks of things . . .

- Luke Perry was my first and only Caucasian crush until Ashton Kutcher came along in 2000 (yeah yeah, shut up). I was in third grade circa the time when Beverly Hills 90210 episodes were beginning production. It was something so sexy to me about this white boy. The ways his eyes would squint when he would talk to Brenda about giving him the coochie did it for me, even at the age of eight. That’s some pretty sick shit now that I think about it. I was eight years old - - not even ten yet - - having fantasies about him.

- When I first met my best friend Erica in the 6th grade I didn’t realize we had something in common, an undying love (lust?) for Penny Hardaway. Yes, there we sat, little pubescent girls talking about how sexy he looked. I also remember how I used to gaze at the huge poster I had of him above my bed at night wondering how it would be to touch him. Yeah I was a horny lil bastard for Penny.

Honorable Mentions

- Morris Chestnut who was extremely sexy as the lead role in The Ernest Green Story back in 1993. He made me want to be a part of the Civil Rights Movement.

- Tony Thompson aka the lead singer of Hi-Five. Remember those guys?

- Usher circa 1993 was delicious to my young eyes. I loved that song he had called “Break It Down” where he was talked about fudging.

- Another Bad Creation as a group. I hate to say it but I “loved” each of them individually in my own special way. I wanted to be Iesha at the Playground, you know? Playgrouunnnd . . .

So who did you love?

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Crunk Award Winners

Posted by Fresh on June 16, 2005

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Crunk and Disorderly Black Tie Gala 2005

Aww man, last night at the Crunk and Disorderly Awards was soo much fun. The stars came out, we all ate fried chicken and watermelon. It was just a beautiful atmosphere. Here’s a recap of last night big winners. I can’t wait until next year!

Hip Hop Metro Sexual of the Year
Kanye West

Best Live Performance aka Rewind That Shit Son!
Destiny’s Child on 106 and Park when Michelle came tumblin’ down . . .

So, Now You Niggas Back On My Nut Sack?
Common

I.Need.Money.
Black Rob

You Niggas Ain’t Fuckin Up My Establishment
Jay-Z

If I Can Make An Album So Can You
Mannie Fresh

Seriously, I Didn’t Know Pictures Of My Pussy Would Get Plastered All Over The Internet
Vida Guerra who also walked away with Butterhead of the Year

White People Love Me
Xzibit

Kobe Bryant Rape Verse of the Year
“Listening to this song kinda make a nigga want something / Did some daydreaming / Now I’m fiending like I’m on something / Girl don’t hold it from me/ Cause right now I’ll be don strong arm it” - Lil Webbie “Give Me That”

I’m Not Like Other Female Rappers Even Though I Dyed My Hair Blonde And Lost Some Weight
Remy Ma

Down And Out
DMX

You Want To See My Kid? aka I’m A Proud Father
The Game

Thanks For Giving My Career Mouth To Mouth
Olivia to G-Unit

Ohh, Where Ya’ll Shooting The Video At? Lemme Be In It!
Jazzy Pha

So What If I Got My Ass Kicked In My Hometown Club
Pastor Troy

Not At All A Baller
Baby for bouncing checks at Jacob’s

Are Our 15 Minutes Up Yet?
Trillville

Gone In 60 Seconds
Fabolous

Betcha I’ll Wear A Rubber Next Time
P.Diddy

Please Stick To Your Day Job
Roy Jones Jr.

Since This Is My Label I Want To Be On The First Single And Also Make A Cameo In The Video
50 Cent

Angry Black Female
Foxy Brown for fighting the lil Korean people in the nail shop and then duking it out with Jacki-O

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Lauryn Hill = Crazy

Posted by Fresh on June 16, 2005

lboogie

it’s L Boogie 3000, urh, I meant Lauryn Hill


Lauryn Hill Goes Crazy at the Vibe Musicfest

“Lauryn came out wearing a mushroom wig that made most of us question what was going on in that head of hers. Although her voice was incredibly strong, I question her stability. She was acting very “strange” throughout the entire show. She gave instructions to her band members as which instruments should be played. At one point, she had them start a song over because she felt that someone was off key.”

It gets crazier people.

“According to a SOHH.com source on the scene, Hill’s entourage requested that the Georgia Dome’s backstage area be cleared upon her arrival. Word is everyone backstage had to immediately drop what they were doing and leave the premises. Furthermore, people who couldn’t exit promptly were told not to look at Hill as she arrived. Hill’s handlers claimed the star didn’t want people looking at her and anyone who was still backstage during her arrvial had to face a wall.” (source)

“As the event patrons enjoyed the show, the performers were having an equally good time backstage, fellowshipping via handshakes, smiles and blackberrys,” explained SOHH.com’s VIP source. “That is… until Ms. Hill made her unfashionable entrance into the Georgia Dome with her entourague, demanding the entire backstage area be cleared and that everyone drop what they were doing and scurry into the nearest nook or cranny. On top of that, if you were one of the unlucky people who did not manage to find a corner to huddle into, you were told you could not look at the Queen of England, er, New Jersey. You had to turn your nose to the wall third grade time-out style.”

Once considered one of the game’s top live performers, Hill appeared lost while performing on the main stage moments later. The artist formerly known as L. Boogie clumsily ran through selections from her classic 1998 LP, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, leaving attendees dumbfounded. Apparently, Hill’s set lacked fluidity and songs were often followed by awkward silence. While Hill’s voice was still top notch, her singing was unusually off beat and the former Fugee didn’t seem to recall her own material. Troubled by the subpar performance, heads began leaving the venue midway through her set. After approximately 4 to 5 songs, Hill exited the stage by simply offering, “Okay, I’m out.” According to SOHH.com’s anonymous eyewitness, as people left the concert some were heard whispering, “This is the second time I’ve paid to see her and she pulled that sh!t.” (source)

I’m not even going to comment about this but why does she looks a black, female Waldo from Where Is Waldo in that sweater.

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Not Done

Posted by Fresh on June 16, 2005

This layout is not completely done but oh well. I don’t know about you but I got tired of Lil Jon. I’m not going to mention that I completely forgot my user name for this here blog. It’s all that crack I did with Darryl Strawberry back in the 90’s. Damn! Anyways, check out the link section where I’ve added a couple of sites. One including the lovely Suezette whom I enjoy speaking on AIM with. She’s dope plus her afro is better.than.yours.

Getting back to what I do best now, talk shit about others from the comfort of my home.

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Quickie

Posted by Fresh on June 13, 2005

birdlady

White people.


- Micheal Jackson = Teflon Don. Charges don’t stick to him.

- Let this be a lesson Mikey. No more kiddies over unless they’re family. Free Jesus Juice tonight for everyone! It’s a celebration bitches!

- *In P.Diddy’s voice* I’m disbanding the band. Destiny’s Child will be no more.

- I finally uploaded a few random pictures from my digi cam. Enjoy the randomness.

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Ha

Posted by Fresh on June 12, 2005

- CollegeDropout.Com - Presented to you by those two bitches from the Inferno, Racheal and Veronica. Kanye West would have a fit if he knew about the name of this site. Although I would rock a Future M.I.L.F. tank top.

tom3
- Fuck TomKat, Tomada would’ve been sweet. I think they would in fact make a cute couple.

- Marques Houston has been offered a $1 million to pose nude for Playgirl. In his new video, Marques appears naked. Well, all the hype caught Playgirl’s attention as they wanna pay Marques $1 million for his services. His rep confirmed the offer however refused to reveal whether or not he’ll take the magazine up on its offer.

- Missy Elliott loves her sex toys.

- On May 11, the Grambling State University Student Government Association swore in new officers for the 2005–2006 school year. Less than 24 hours later, the SGA president was in jeopardy of losing his position. Thomas Craig, a junior from Detroit, is at the center of a controversy over two pornographic videos that have surfaced. In the videos, both recorded using a camera phone, a man is shown masturbating to ATL’s “Make It Up With Love.” One video is 15 seconds, the other 16 seconds. The videos were sent using Sprint’s Picture Mail. This put the videos on the Internet and into an interactive photo album, which can be sent to others for viewing.i t is unclear whether Craig is the man in the videos, but an investigation by the Gramblinite shows the videos were originally sent from Craig’s cell phone. They eventually reached the e-mail inbox of SGA adviser Audrey Warren. (read more)

That may be old to some but it sure is new to me, lmao! And you thought you were the only one who jacked off to ATL?

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